When we were on our road trip and I was blogging away letting family and friends know about how we were going and where we’d been, the feedback was, well, quite fabulous – particularly for someone who’d never written before and who hasn’t got the highest opinion of herself. I’d always thought it’d be great to be able to write but it all seemed too hard. I’m like that. If it’s hard, I probably won’t pursue it. But because this stuff had actually happened to us, it wasn’t difficult to write about it. I really LOVED doing it.
So when people would say “you should keep blogging/writing when you get home”, my instant, negative, I’m not good enough answer was “my life is so mundane, what could I possibly write about?” Um, yes, my life IS mundane. It’s a life lived by many. But my brain and the thoughts that occupy it are anything but mundane and I suspect that’s how it is for most people.
There are bucketloads of blogs out there to prove that what goes on in the mind and behind the scenes isn’t necessarily the face you put on in the public domain. Sometimes I feel like I’m on such an edge that my mind is going to explode into the ether – but no-one would ever know. I know there’s a million things (well, maybe five things) to help me slow those thoughts and clear my mind but I don’t do them. It’s like food. I know I should eat that apple for a snack, but I dive for the chocolate chip cookies from Safeway instead. It’s easier (actually, tastier). Yet I know that eating that apple will make me feel better. Vicious circle anyone?
Anyway, as the title suggests, I’m going to use this blog to try and grab those random, jumbled thoughts and put them onto ‘paper’. Who knows where it’ll take me. These are the words that came up when I put the word jumbled into the Thesaurus: untidy, topsy-turvy, muddled, chaotic, mixed-up, disorderly, random, messy, tangled, higgledy-piggledy, cluttered, confused, disarrayed, disorganised…welcome to a snapshot of my mind.