Sometimes I find it hard to comprehend the thoughtlessness, cruelty, meanness, lack of respect, cliquishness, you name it, that we inflict on each other and ourselves. From anonymously sniping at celebrities whose kids eat too many bananas, to wars – either between couples, gangs, countries… I do it too – when I’m feeling under pressure I can be snippy at my kids and Anth. Actually I can be snippy at my kids and Anth when I’m not under pressure. I can be thoughtless to others and others can be thoughtless towards me. And I hate it. So much. I hate hearing of war, famine, the plight of those less fortunate than me, bullying at school, etc, etc, and I’m at a loss to explain why this shit happens.
I’m not religious in any way and I know very little about religion. Some people take solace in their religion and I wouldn’t ever dream of questioning their beliefs any more than anyone should question my barracking for Collingwood. Though some would say Australian Rules Football IS a religion. But my feeling has always been that if there was a god, wouldn’t he/she be powerful enough to stop all this or for it not to happen in the first place? But I have to confess I’ve never given a lot of thought to it.
A friend of mine, Deb, has though. These are her thoughts and they are quite extraordinary.
My stance is basically a spiritual framework – the only one I can intellectually tolerate. I choose to believe in something outside this earthly existence which I will call god (small ‘g’, no gender, indefinable kind of thing). Various faiths ascribe to god certain characteristics like eternal, loving, non judgemental, creative etc etc. I agree with these characteristics and as such it is impossible for me to believe that this same god created this world – nothing here is eternal for starters so how could something that is eternal create something that is not? How could something so loving create a world in which everything eventually dies, often in horrific, horrendous and vile ways.
Faith holders say that the world is often not a good place because god created us with free will but the insect and animal world where god didn’t endow those lowly creatures with free will is also murderous and vile. We might look at the ocean and say how beautiful it is but under the surface there is treachery beyond belief. If god did create us with free will I don’t think you can argue that we have mightily stuffed up – then what a cruel heartless bastard that god must be to sit back and watch her children suffer so.
So I don’t believe that god created this mad, insane world in which some us create our little oases of loveliness – I’m talking the big picture here. I think there has to be another dimension that is the real world, I think our egos are making up this world, this universe and that our egos (versus true Self that has never separated from god and is still at home and at peace with god) are diabolically clever in keeping us in the vicious cycle of birth, death, birth, death, birth, death – I must have had at least 57,927 of these and at a soul level, I am utterly, utterly sick to death (pun intended) of this and I wanna go home! Back to god where I belong, back to eternal peace and love – can you imagine that – eternal peace versus the fleeting experience we have here. But here I am trapped again in a body that doesn’t know and can’t comprehend the reality so I play in the illusion, look at the ocean and think how beautiful and try to remember that because it is an illusion, the beauty of the ocean serves a purpose as a symbol to remind me that somewhere there is true beauty, eternal and unchanging.
Most of the time I love my life. My vision is that I will live til 100 years old. Statistics unfortunately show that women live longer than men so Mal will shirk this mortal coil around 90. I will then set up a women’s commune with a dozen or so extraordinary women (best you sign up soon) who have made such a beautiful and positive difference to my life. My divine children and hopefully some of their own won’t be too far away and will have changed for the better the worlds they live (still an illusion though). Every afternoon around 6pm we will don our chardy cardies and will be served drinks on the balcony by stunning young men who are scantily clad – even in the colder months. One by one we’ll just float away and pass peacefully in the vegie patch and those of us who are left on the balcony will from time to time say “Anyone seen Maree, don’t recall seeing her for while” whilst Maree is nestled in the vegie patch fertilising the carrots.
I love this life and want to wring every bit of illusionary joy out of it – and then I want out of it.
Deb goes on to say: At the end of the day it matters not one jot what you believe or where those beliefs are coming from as long as they bring you some measure of peace in the midst of the madness and this does it for me.
So I’ve signed up to be one of Deb’s ‘chardy cardie’ women. Except I’ll have an ice cold beer. In the meantime, I’ll try and create my own oases of loveliness so I can continue to survive and thrive in a world which makes it so difficult to do so sometimes.