I can categorically say that I’ve never yearned for a girl. Not in the sense that some do and I’ll do my best to explain what I think that yearning is. It’s the special but sometimes complicated mother/daughter relationship – there is a tie that binds, no matter what the circumstances. All through my life, I’ve seen some extremely close mother/daughter relationships that you don’t tend to see with mothers and their sons. It’s a female thing. The conversations are different – they can only occur between those who experience the same thing, albeit in a different generation. And for women who are close to their mums but who then only have boys, this yearning can run deep into the soul.
On a much less deeper level, it’s the shopping together, the ‘doing things’ together, the being able to dress your little girl in cute things, decorating her room…
I’ve never really thought about the impact not having girls will have on me eventually until a conversation with another mother of boys only. It was along the lines of the boys grow up and leave home and don’t need their mothers; don’t have that special tie that binds and they don’t ‘do things’ with their mums that girls do. So it’s ‘what now?’ for the mums.
Well probably. I’m not sure how brilliant a mum I would have been having a girl. I have next to no interest in shopping. I couldn’t decorate myself out of a cardboard box and the girl hormones are ones I’m not sure I’d cope with! And on that deeper level? Well I don’t know. I don’t have that with my mum and have never had it with my sister so it’s not something I really relate to in a blood sense. I have a deeper connection with my friends more than my family. As much as I love them.
So perhaps not ever having it with my own family means I don’t miss not having my own girls. Who knows. What gives me hope that I won’t be completely abandoned (!) is the wonderfully close relationship Anthony’s mum Daph has with her 4 boys. They love and adore her; are always in contact with her and Anth still says “love you mum” when he finishes a conversation on the phone.
Meanwhile? We’ll continue on with the wrestling, physical fighting and noise levels that only exist in a home of boys only. I’ll send them outside and to their rooms to fight and wrestle and hope that no-one knocks a tooth out!!
I love being the mother of boys only, I really do, despite their need to be physical and noisy (and it’s no secret this can shit me, even though I get that’s what boys do). I feel special that I’m the only girl in the house – or as the lovely Deb says – the queen of the household. I can nurture them, annoy them (I mean who doesn’t do a silly dance in front of a TV show they’re watching??), guide them on how to express their feelings, acknowledge their feelings to balance the wrestling bit and rise early on a Sunday morning for the football ritual. I mean netball – uggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
PS – I just flicked on an article that said “A new study has found that girls as young as 6 years want to be sexy.” That’s a whole new post. Jeez.