At first I thought I blogged because I needed to be rid of the mass of swirling thoughts inside my head. That’s still the case, though if only you knew the half of what was going on in there! Of course I know I’m not on my own there; imagine the chaos that would ensue if people really exposed their deep dark thoughts!
But a couple of days ago I came to the realisation that I blog because I’m an introvert living in an extroverted world. I’ve always known this. It can be tiring, intimidating and loud. There are times when I’m in certain situations that I can never get a word in. My voice is naturally quiet, I’m not a commanding presence so I’m completely stuffed if I’m in a crowd. So I feel that I’m not really heard; that I can’t get what I want to say across to people.
Sometimes it’s funny – i.e. when I’m surrounded by Anth’s family it is impossible to get a word in without being interrupted or hearing another two loud voices talking in another conversation close by (c’mon Halls you know it’s true!! But I love you all so much.)
Other times, it can be just downright rude or of course there’s the one I don’t want to think about – that people find me utterly bloody boring!! Heh.
Not quite sure why I feel the need to be heard really and I’m coming to the point where it actually doesn’t matter how many people read my ramblings. Yesterday I was given a card to thank me for being strong enough to share my feelings on here because it gave them the strength to talk about theirs. Well geez, that’s the nicest thing someone’s said to me forever.
Then I see this tweet from Mr Problogger himself today (an introvert himself who has 178,000+ people following him on Twitter and from what I can tell, the most humble of guys): Does Your Blog feel small? If you have just one reader & your blog changes their life your blog is big enough. I haven’t changed lives but words can be powerful “on paper” where I don’t feel my spoken word is heard.
Thanks for ‘listening’. xx